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Friday, November 21, 2014

Hug

A warm hug was all i needed at that moment when i crashed my car to d bus.

I only started to cry when i heard her voice over the phone. She came running and hugged me immediately. I was shaking she said. I didn't know what to do. All that went tru my mind was. Why am i so careless, i should have this and that and i shouldnt have this and that. How am i gona tell my parents?

But all she did was to just hug me and tell me its ok, everything is alright. Check on me if i was hurt. I felt like i wanted to commit suicide. You know that feeling when you did something terribly wrong and all u wanted to do was to hide? Ya i felt like that. But she was with me the whole night trying to console me. Make me feel like a kitten hiding under d hood of a car when it rains. 

That secure feeling that i had when i was being hug was undescribable. Its amazing how simple a single action give such a great impact. I know i might sound unreasonable. But u wun feel it unless u  went through it, 

Thanks. For being there for me. 

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Sore

I was never appreciated...
I was never approved...
My love was never recieved...

All d things i volunteer to do, i did not expect for a repay... I just wanted you to accept me.

Its that sourness in my heart again.
It hurts... I want you to want me

That swollen eyes i had that day... This is how it looked d next morning. 
Tonight, i cried as hard too...

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Headache

Massive headache. 
I cant unlove...

你的生日都还没过。。。礼物怎么办?
两百天就要到了。。。 怎么办?
真的要走了吗? 听到 分手我很辛苦。
人生第一次听见分手那么痛。
你懂我的爱吗?你明白多深吗?
痛 很痛。。。

不是要走完整个马来西亚吗?
Redang? Morib? 怎么办?
哭死我了。你懂吗?

你是我唯一一个自己选的。自己要的。你走了?我怎么办?

呼吸困难了。可以吃了药跳下去吗?
那把枪来可以吗?刀可以吗?

可能你会觉得我很无力聊,我很dramatic. 可是和你一起是最有意义的。
和你一起,我要做的,你都陪我,你都鼓励我。我连之前做不到的事情因为你我做了。crochet 给你。你的生日礼物。怎么难我也做。你是我的动力。 世界上我能给的,我都要努力去拿给你。 

我不吸烟,不打针。退出了,不做蝴蝶了 。不是你逼我,是我要给你最好的我。

当初你说了和你一起是不可能的。是没有祝福的。会不会是我太幼稚了?每天想着不可能的事。

忘记你吗?你说可能吗?我和你一起,是我人生中最丰富的爱情。可能你不同意,

哭了一个小时 , 都已经麻痹了。忘了怎么呼吸。我失恋了。。。原来是那么的痛苦。整个头都在痛。。。 眼睛,鼻子,脸。。。 心?好像真的感觉到一片一片的在碎 又有点酸酸的。

真的那么难接受我们?我不要分可以吗?
我的眼睛。。。