I just feel like typing today... no idea why. I'm feeling very down these few days. Very sad and frus... but today, there's a lil anger in me. Even when i went trevelling both in melacca and genting, i wasnt at all happy there. Maybe just for that few minutes yea but other then that, i din really enjoyed myselft there. It's quite a pity for me because its a vacation and its for relaxing and having fun and yet, i got it ironicaly... sad case there! I have got lotta prob with my family... they just dont quite get along very well. Bad temper, attitude prob, communicaiton prob, understanding prob, accusing ppl, forcing things to be done in their way and then end up quarelling, selfish, 4ever with negative toughts, no gud encouragement, low understanding of other culture like contonese ppl speaks a lil rough sometimes but that's the way they do it plus sometimes, its just how they express stuff and doesnt really mean wat they say, you just gotta accept it and overprotective too plus alot more!!! try to add this kinda ppl in ur everyday life... It sux i tell u! Never have fun them anywhere. IT's just sad sometimes when one day u come home feeling sad and tired and you got shoot and bomb on the 1st sentence when you speak. you;re already very exhausted and needed some rest and then... drama here and there. Sometimes quarel over small things. Never sit down and think a bit before you lay out words to he others. The end of the sentence its always:" i will never ever talk to you again! / never ever go out with you / never ever whateva la." All this nonsense... it's just every word u say and the way u phrase it must be like that person is ur highness or wateva. That's just not rite... i noe parents are parents but not like hi, you look lovely today! what can i do to help you? can i rest a moment?.... do you even talk like that??? the most polite word i mean the most classic word i have been tough is "teacher may i go to the toilet pls" amd saying thank you. When we get old, we just smile at the teacher and walk out. she doesnt even care. It's like we have grew up know wat are we doing and they dun give a damn how u speak to them .. wat the hell. It's just wierd to not brought up to talk like that and suddenly you gotta change.
Somtimes, i'm just crying inside. Trying my very best to fit in but it just seems so impossible. they dun give in and you just tepuk sebelah tangan. When you'r feeling down, they pull you even lower then u can sit. when you're happy and smile, they try everyway to grab ur leg and put you where u first learn to stand up. They find ways to turn u down. I just cant help it sometimes and just lock myself in my rum and leave my heart out to cry. And then when they forcely question it outa you... they start telling you how sad they are themself that i react that way and how pity they are themself to face us and how bad they tried to cover it up. It's like a tug-a-war. pulling here and there... a competition perharps who wins the most sympathy. think about it... it this the way??
I noe people have got their own prob... but you just gota sit down and refresh. not going all insane about it... being like some phsyco there! ishhh... the worst is getting everyone involve in it...
Well, i got shot a few times today and it's like a daily routine now. Sometimes, i prefer to sit down and be quite. but then they say you're in bad mood or angry at them or refuse to do work when they ask when i silently just nod my head. and if i react happy and talkaltive, they'll ask if i have anything in mind. When i wanna go out with some friends just lepaking, they'll make it look like i'm never comming back. They say ok ok u can go but they scream and shout at you before you go out. Sometimes, they just keep asking you to help them in everything and says that i'll be out the whole day and wont be around any time to help. pada hal i went for few hours only. Sometimes i just feel like staying at home and not going out or asking ppl to come.
Of course i wanna meet my friends and rexter and all... just that it make it so hard for me. sometimes, i wana freeze the time and evreyone, i mean not everyone! and just relax myselft a lil , loosen up a lil... sometimes, i dun even care what they say and do wat i want but i always get the pay back at the end. but sometimes it's just worth it... i'll do anything when there's rexter. No one's gonna stop me. not even you, rexter if u have a chance to read this. It's just stress-free when i'm with you. well, yea sometimes there's a lil misunderstanding, but it's alrite, i've told u once and told you twice and again and again. it's just up to you whether u rmb it or not. neway, you;re not the prob in my life ... you're more like the oxygen of my life or the light in my darkest moment or wateva in those olden day's romance script....
When there's an argument, when someone starts the fire, i always try to put it out. Try to make it lesser conflict and then at the end, i got myself in the scene and start getting scolded...
While i'm typing this out... my house in a bit of chaos now... the drama just started. Haiz no comment.. And i'm ordered to sleep rite now 12.35am... or else i'm gonna give my dad a shorter life... see!
So, yea! niteZ
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