Babeee

My senior, my brother, my best friend, my blueblack maker, my armour to hide in, my sword to count on, my couch to sit on when i need a break, my bed to lie on when i'm exhausted, my tissue when i cry, my keyboard when i'm bored, my punching bag when i'm angry, my memory card who happens to be on every page of my dairy, my lips of encourangement, my legs to get me through every step, my hands to grab every chance that can make me shine, my wolf to go wild with at night along the fullmoon, my milkshake, my future, my darling, my baby, my dearest Ryan, he is! the one and only, grestest boyfriend of mine and i'm really proud of it.

I noe i have done the most stupid thing on earth during the pass few weeks. I noe it'll be hard to forget but pls pls gimme some time and u'll noe. Im really really sorry about that, and u noe how sorry i was! I hope i can make it back up to u. I feel like i was gonna die seeing u like that. I din want it to happen like that, i saw the changes of your eyes and the way u speak to me that night on the see-saw. I was actually hidding my feelings and trying to be strong hoping that you could get someone that is alot better than me. Seeing u like that really hurts me alot and i noe i must let go because i have done so much bads towards such a good guy like u. I couldnt help thinking bout you that time, what i have turned u into. I think i have made the right choice that time but i have just jumped into a deep well filled with darkness. but u were there... u din give up pulling me. i was the one who insits on staying in the well but u just kept screaming my name and calling me back up. At times, i think u were the one who stops me from doing things i like and wat i think is rite and fun to do. You neva gave up. neva! I prayed and prayed for u to go away and have fun with betta gurls... Sooner than i tot, God answered my prayers and showed me the way. I listened to God and followed as i noe he's always rite. It was like in waking up from a dream. I was the dummess gurl on earth and i deserve a big punishment. a big one. I noe wat i have done was soo outta the way .... sooo wrong! I felt like hiding my face and runing away. But you helped me go through it all. I regret for wat i have done. I noe it's the 3rd time this had happend. It wasnt as serius as this time. I am really really sorry. i regret for wat i have done to u. Everytime i see you, i think twice when reacting or words when i speak because im afraid of hurting u again. Im not being manja this few days... i just din want u to leave me that night when i cry. It feels awful without u.. u noe... all of a sudden i realize everything. Realize how much u actually love and care for me like nobody else will. Realize how will i be without u here with me. and now i hate myself. Hate myself for saying i dun love you. You might think i'm crapping all this shit for fun.. but i'm not. this is the 1st time spending my midnite digging how i feel and put it into words for you and you're the only guy i have done this with. I have neva neva bother about all this . all i want was just to have fun and i dun give a shit to those who are in the way of me getting things i want. u noe about all this shit bout me. i really mean wat i say and it's not all just shakespear or wateva. I'm really happy that u still accept me after all i have done. Even after i have became so filty and dirty as left overs by the roadside. I am really happy that u took me back on the right path where i am rite now. I promise i will neva neva let you down. No more next time! i am sure about it.

"...Cause you're the only one who's on my mind, i'll neva eva let u leave me. i try to stop time for eva neva wanna hear u say goodbye..." (Untouched, the Veronicas) >>>>>